Relationships are a double-edged sword. They can make us fly on cloud nine and be overjoyed. But on the other hand, they exert a tremendous power on our emotional world, which also likes to turn around. In such a case, our relationship can also mean the opposite of happiness – it can make us depressed.
Does your relationship make you depressed?
Depression is not something to be trifled with. It creeps up on you in the form of an unpleasant feeling that turns into powerlessness and sadness. It settles over our lives like a dark veil, making it anything but easy to see clearly again. In some cases, our relationship is the trigger. If the part of our life that is supposed to bring us joy suddenly makes us sad, we should be careful. You can tell that your relationship is making you creepingly depressed by these signs:
1. Your partner is putting you down.
Criticism is allowed. Criticism is good. However, only if it serves to make each other a better person. In a relationship, we are allowed to point out our partner’s flaws – but let them know that we love them with all their quirks. Love should build us up, not tear us down. If you doubt yourself because your partner is putting you down, alarm bells should ring.
2, You’re never in the right.
You’ve stopped having discussions because your arguments aren’t being heard anyway? In a relationship, you treat each other with respect. And respect includes admitting when you are wrong. Your partner should take you and your point of view seriously. 3.
3. you feel controlled.
Your partner wants to know where you are around the clock and checks your cell phone? This is where love reaches its limits. Even if you like to talk yourself into such behavior and justify it with romantic jealousy, pathological control destroys the relationship. You are an independent person and you can do whatever you want.
4. you no longer make decisions.
Girls’ night out and his buddy’s birthday party fall on the same day – now compromises are needed. However, the decision is taken away from you and your partner decides in advance what you will do? Be careful, you underestimate yourself and your value. Your wishes should not be lost in a relationship. Sometimes it happens insidiously that more and more decisions are taken away from us without us actively noticing it.
5. your partner is irritable throughout.
No matter what you say, it’s wrong? You don’t have to put up with everything. In love, we do a lot to make our partner happy. If this is not the case, we not only feel attacked, we are convinced that the fault lies with us. Everyone needs a sense of achievement and affirmation in life. If our partner consistently makes us feel like we are doing something wrong, the risk of depression is high.
6. your partner dominates the relationship.
Either things go his way – or not at all. This attitude is not only highly selfish and damaging to the relationship, it also affects our self-esteem. We put our needs in the background – and no longer take ourselves as an independent person important.
7. You subconsciously carry out his orders.
You do the shopping, the laundry and bring him his favorite food to bed? Do you really do all this out of your own intention? When our partner starts manipulating us or even giving us orders, it has nothing to do with love anymore. The fact that we are in love does not mean that we have to do everything for the other person. Our love should never be exploited.
8. your relationship is one-sided.
Of course, it can be nice to surprise and spoil your beloved with your favorite food – as long as these acts are not one-sided. As the saying goes, a relationship is a constant give and take. The giving should never be forgotten here. If nothing comes back, we wither away inside – and slip into depression faster than we think.
9. your partner abuses you.
There is a form of abuse that has nothing to do with physical violence and instead takes place in the psyche. A relationship, as I said, has an extraordinary power on us. When we love someone, we make ourselves dependent (consciously or subconsciously) in a certain way. We are vulnerable and provide a perfect target. Our partner should never take advantage of this power. If a relationship changes our self-image toward the negative, caution is called for. We must not define ourselves by how our partner treats us.
10. Your partner is depressed.
Lastly, of course, it may be that your partner is not actively doing anything that makes us depressed. If your partner is depressed himself, he needs professional help. You cannot take this burden away from him. Your strong connection increases the risk that you will eventually become depressed yourself and let his problems drag you down.