What is a toxic relationship? This question is not easy to answer, because toxic relationships can be very different in detail – however, there are certain behavior patterns and feelings that make a relationship toxic and therefore bad for you. Read here what are the signs that your relationship is toxic for you.
7 signs of a toxic relationship
1. you have to hide your true feelings from him.
Especially when you are angry with him or criticize him, he reacts so angrily that you quickly feel that you yourself have done something wrong. He always manages to twist everything so that you think you are in the wrong or even stupid.
2. you do nothing without each other
You do everything together and not only that: he badmouths your family and closest friends. By and by he is the only one close to you, because ONLY HE understands you and ONLY HE is always there for you.
3. he is not happy for you
He doesn’t like it when you grow: if you have successes at work or nice experiences without him, he doesn’t want to hear it or belittles it.
4. he exploits your weaknesses
Instead of helping you or making you feel better about your insecurities, he uses them against you – whether in an argument or to manipulate you to his advantage. In the worst cases, he stirs up insecurities in you in the first place.
5. he makes you feel that you are actually too good for you
You spend every minute of every day trying to be the perfect girlfriend or wife for him, because really, he’s way too good for you – right?
6. you are always to blame
He makes you feel that it is always you who is responsible when disagreements or problems arise: You alone are responsible for making sure you have a happy relationship.
7. living between extremes: Constant change intense love or imminent breakup
Your relationship is a constant alternation between intense love and threatening separation. You think that he is your great love and that you can’t be without him anymore, at the same time you are permanently afraid that you might break up.
How do you deal with a toxic relationship?
All these signs indicate a toxic relationship, which sooner or later will destroy your mental health. The longer such a relationship lasts, the more your perception is manipulated. If you feel that you are in a toxic relationship, it is very important that you talk about it with someone close to you or seek therapeutic help.
A neutral outside person will have a completely different perspective on your relationship and will be able to see more clearly what is going wrong and how toxic it actually is. This will help you realize that the relationship may need to end.
Can you save a toxic relationship?
Narcissism does not always have to underlie the partner’s toxic behavior. Often traumatic childhood experiences or memories can also be causes of the urge for constant attention or control. If there is still hope that the relationship can be saved, the only thing that will help is an open conversation between you and your partner to address problems directly.
In order for the toxic relationship to be detoxified, it is essential that both parties are willing to work on the relationship. To do this, mistakes must be admitted so that they can be prevented in the future. However, for most narcissists, this often turns out to be a huge, almost impossible challenge. Couples therapy can help to identify why a toxic partner behaves the way he does and make it possible to find solutions.
However, if your partner refuses to undergo joint therapy, repeatedly crosses boundaries and disapproves of consequences, then the only way out of the toxic relationship is to separate.
How do you end a toxic relationship?
It takes some courage to make the final decision to end a toxic relationship. The first step should be to get a clear overview of the state of the relationship. To do this, it can help to talk to an outside person about the relationship problems.
After all, people tend to quickly repress negative experiences and cling to beautiful moments. To prevent this from happening, you can keep a diary to remind yourself of the few good moments and why you made the decision to end the toxic relationship.
A pros and cons list also helps to analyze what is going well and what is going badly in the relationship. If it turns out that the relationship is unbearable for you most of the time and you feel permanently uncomfortable, then it is time to draw the line and end the toxic relationship for good.
It is very important to remain consistent and to underpin the finality of your decision. If you leave room for hope, the toxic partner will not let go and the danger that you will fall back into the toxic relationship increases enormously. If you are afraid to give in again, get support and encouragement from friends, family, or a therapist. Allies are essential during this difficult time.
Unfortunately, it is often the case that the relationship does not let you go after the breakup. Anxiety disorders and sleep disturbances are not far away and are completely understandable. In order for you to quickly find fun in life again, behavioral therapy can help you. Your friends will also be more than happy to help you.